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I woke up this morning feeling like I’ve put on 10 pounds overnight. My body feels heavy and I’m mentally discouraged. Being nominated by Fitness Magazine for the “Best Weight Loss Blog” has been awesome, but at the same time discouraging. I wish I was a blogger who could say, “I lost 100 pounds and am at my goal weight”. The truth is, I’m not there. I started this journey weighing 261 pounds. I couldn’t run, couldn’t make it through a spin class, and my motivation to eat healthy was close to nothing. I wanted it in my head, but my actions did not follow.
Around 250 pounds back in 2006
From November 2006-August 2007 I had lost 54 pounds! I felt great but became comfortable with where I was at. I honestly think I was scared to lose more weight. I felt thin and justified staying where I was at.
218 pounds in April 2007
210 pounds in July 2007
As I’ve shared in My Journey, 2007-2009 were tough years for me. Here I stand, almost 5 years since losing 54 pounds and I’ve gained 20 pounds back. On the flip side, I’ve run multiple races (a half marathon, 15K, 10K, 5 miler, and 5K), I take spin classes 2-3 times a week, and have more endurance than I’ve ever had before. So what’s my deal? Why am I having a fat day? Why am I not losing weight?
I feel like I have pieces of the puzzle, but they’re just not all coming together. Let’s take yesterday for example…
- Breakfast- banana and cherry smoothie with 1 scoop of protein powder and everything bagel (dry)
- Lunch- 2.5 cups of spinach, light Caesar dressing, and croutons
- Snacks- 1 fruit leather and 2 cups of tomato soup
- Dinner- WAY too much pasta (high fiber pasta with Parmesan cheese, seasoning, and olive oil)
- Post Dinner Snack- 1 cup of honey bunches of oats cereal and vanilla soy milk
I started out the day with my head of straight. I made a smoothie for breakfast and packed my lunch. Knowing the smoothie wouldn’t tie me over, I had a bagel around 10:30AM. My lunch was very tasty, but a spinach salad with no protein wasn’t very smart. Around 3PM I had the soup and the fruit leather. By the time I got home from work last night, I was super hungry and had no motivation to workout. I decided to roast asparagus and have some pasta on the side. Well, I made way too much pasta but since it was ready before the asparagus I just started eating dinner. After having 1 bowl, I went back and finished the rest of the pasta instead of waiting for the asparagus. My plan to have veggies with a side of pasta turned into 2 bowls of pasta and no veggies. To top it all off, I wanted something sweet to eat so 2 hours later I had a small bowl of cereal. WHY? I wasn’t even hungry.
I woke up this morning feeling frustrated and discouraged. Instead of getting too down on myself, I made a smoothie, put on my workout clothes, and headed into work early to get a workout in before my work meeting. I got into work around 8:15AM only to learn that the gym doesn’t open until 9AM because of spring break. AHHH! I was so frustrated. I totally could have gone outside for a run but I feared not having enough time to shower before my meeting. Instead I showered and heading into the office.
So what can I do? How can I turn things around? I would REALLY love to be back at 208 by my wedding but I also know I have to be realistic. My first wedding dress fitting is in 5 weeks, so even if I lost 2 pounds each week, that’d bring me down to 218 pounds. So what can I do to lose 2 pounds each week?
Today
- Order wisely at lunch today with Becky
- Exercise this afternoon with Neal
- Portion out my dinner, eating more veggies than carbs or protein (tonight Neal and I have a special date night dinner planned)
- Drink lots of water
Moving Forward
- Follow through with my plans! I’m doing a great job planning, but I’ve got to stick to it
- Be ok with being hungry
- Use my wedding as motivation
- Drink lots of water each day!
- Eat veggies and fruit first
- Enjoy my workouts, getting a workout in each day!
I want this so bad… but I’ve got to want it enough to not allow laziness or food obsessions to get in the way. I’ve got to workout each day and I’ve got to be wise with what I eat. Easier said that done, but I know I can do this!! I want this again!
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Tagged with: Dieting • Fat Day • Weight Loss
Filed under: Deep Thoughts • My Weight Loss • Weight Loss
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Aww don’t worry about it! We all feel like this every now and then. I have this happen a ton, but these things tend to motivate you even more in the long run! Good luck and have a great weekend girl!
Olivia recently posted..Beef & Broccoli
Thank you for your note Olivia! It did motivate me!
Ashley recently posted..Technology as a Fitness Tool
What do you mean by, “Be ok with being hungry”? Do you tend to eat too much when you’re hungry or over-do it (like with dinner)?
And yes.. we all feel this way sometimes! I drank WAY too much wine last night, and when I asked my bf to get me some soy ice cream with peanut butter, he brought me a huge bowl and I ate it all. (Thanks, wine.) It’s a new day, though!
Eleah recently posted..The bike trainer… + food.
Hey Eleah! I just mean that when you’re trying to lose weight, there may be times when you’re hungry but if you’ve reached your calories for the day, you have to be ok with it instead of continuing to eat.
Ashley recently posted..Chocolate Chip Mint Blossom Cookies
I can really relate! After I had my son (over 4 years ago now), I lost all the pregnancy weight plus some extra. I was lower than I had been in many years. I had lost about 25 lbs. (I was still overweight though, haven’t been thin since I was like 8 yrs old!). I was on track. But then the holidays happened and travel and so on. I got stuck at that same place and have been struggling to get past it these past 3 years now. I keep going down a few lbs and going back up again. Anyway, I read your blog and it helps me! It’s nice to be on the same page as someone who is still in the process.
Hey Christina! Thank you for sharing about your journey and for reading my blog!
Ashley recently posted..San Antonio’s La Gloria
Ashley, I totally feel you. When I was at my heaviest (a year before we met) I was doing more physical activity than probably ever in my life and I wasn’t losing weight. I don’t really know what the secret is in getting past plateaus like that other than staying at it, continuing to focus on eating right and in good proportion, and feeling good that you are making the effort when sooo many others just don’t.
Last year I found that looking at running as therapy (the chance to get fresh air, see how the environment changed depending on the day, weather, etc.) and saving a bunch of music that I really liked on my iPod but not letting myself listen to it unless I was working out, really helped me stick with exercise and see results. Also recognizing how different times of the month, ahem, can make you feel extra tired and down on yourself helps too. I have to remind myself that a lot when all of a sudden I feel like “WHY can I not get motivated? WHY do I SUCK!” lol. Good luck girl, keep it up!
Dana,
You’re the best! Your advice about running and saving music for working out is fantastic! Miss you
Ashley recently posted..Wedding Wednesday: Final Bridesmaid Dresses
Just think of how far you have come. Think about how you felt before losing any weight at all. I read this thing today that said “mistakes are proof that you are trying”. Just keep living a healthy life and don’t be so focused on the pounds. You are so beautiful. Love you!
Thanks Alvin! Love you
Ashley recently posted..I’m Having a Fat Day
Hey Ashley, I came across your blog from the fitness blog awards page! I know exactly how you are feeling! I start off feeling good and positive and then just like that I’m eating too much! I’m getting married in 6 months and I still haven’t lost any weight – it’s up and down and then up again! I hope I can get my act together very soon! I look forward to following you on your journey also! I love your blog so far and still exploring it!! =)
Hey Evelyn,
Thank you for sharing about your journey. YAY for a 2012 bride!! I’m getting married in 4 months. I appreciate what Lauren said below. I think our goal is to feel great, regardless of what we weight. I still want to lose weight, but Lauren’s right.
Ashley recently posted..AHH It’s March!
Ash- I know that anyone can say this to you, but you have to believe it. How you are, right now, you are BEAUTIFUL. I think I told you before, but when I met you I was blown away by how gorgeous you are. That being said, I KNOW what it’s like to feel uncomfortable in your body and not be happy with it, no matter what anyone else says.
I pressured myself SO much to lose 20 lbs before my wedding. I lost 10 (and wasn’t healthy about it) and then gained 12 back within 3 weeks after the wedding! All I can say is try not to pressure yourself to lose so much weight for the wedding. You will look amazing and feel beautiful whether you lose 5 or 25 lbs.
I have a lot of the same food issues as you (duh) and always start out great, but then just lose motivation and focus. Honestly, I don’t know what the right answer is- I wish I did. The most important thing is being honest with yourself and trying not to let food control your life. Easier said than done, right?
You’re amazing, strong and beautiful!!
Lauren @ Oatmeal after Spinning recently posted..Saturday Survey [+ cauliflower pizza crust]
You’re the best Lauren. Thank you for your note and for sharing your experience. I really appreciate your encouraging words, it means a lot to me!
Ashley recently posted..Turkey Fiesta Tacos
Do you know why I like your blog (and why I suspect many other women do to)? Because you’re real! You represent a woman that, yes, has her struggles with her weight, and calls herself on it and is completely honest. You eat REAL food, you enjoy life – it’s refreshing to see! I read some healthy living bloggers, and I tell you, your blog is damn refreshing – I can only see so many pictures of oatmeal or quinoa before I want to scream! Your blog represents what millions of women across the globe go through each day and I really appreciate your honest on this.
You’ve decided what to do moving forward, and hopefully not gotten too hung up about today. Accept that some days things will suck and you may not eat right, but we’re human and we do these things.
And you know what? You are quite fit! You are active in your exercise, you mix things up – alright, you might not be at your ideal weight, and it’s great to have a goal, but you’re most definitely not slothing it on a couch somewhere feeling sorry for yourself. Be proud – you deserve it!
Lou, I can not thank you enough for your note. It was so encouraging to me and I really, really appreciate it. Thank you for reading my blog and for understanding. Again, Thank you!
We all have fat days and they are not fun my entire day is off when I feel that way. I try and get through it by looking at how far I’ve come.
You said you couldn’t run before but now you’re running all the time, I just started trying to run (again) but I can’t run for very long a few minutes at a time max, how did you start running? I get so discouraged but this time I’m making myself stick with it
Hey Cait!! I highly recommend running on an interval system. This is how I started running and still enjoy today. The way it works is you create a run/walk ratio for yourself. Starting out, you may want to run for 30 seconds and walk for 2 minutes. If you feel good there, move it to running for 1 minute and walking for 2. Studies show that using the run/walk ratio will actually help you to finish runs faster because you’ll actually run faster when you’re running then if you were to run (changing pace) the whole time. I purchased the Gym Boss a few years ago and have used it since when I run. I tend to run 2 minutes and walk for 1 minutes but can run straight, I just choose not too all the time. My other tip is to be ok with walking. I was really insecure at first about walking but you just have to see that it’ll help you in the long run.
Ashley recently posted..Technology as a Fitness Tool
I stumbled across your blog recently and loved it! You’re an honest inspiration for health and weight loss. I’ll be sure to keep an eye out on your page!
-a
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