Hi friends! I blog daily about trying to find moderation in the city that never sleeps over at A Healthy, Happier Bear!
When Ashley asked me to guest post while she is away on her honeymoon I was elated. I especially liked the topic since it’s near and dear to my heart. I hope they are enjoying every moment of their honeymoon!
Three years ago, I moved from Philadelphia to New York City to move in with my future husband, Bo. While the move was exciting, it also meant that we would finally be living together after over five years together.
We knew it’d be an adventure and that there would be lots of new compromises in our lives, but we didn’t expect the weight gain and lethargic manner that followed. In the first six months that we lived together, I gained 10 pounds from both the move and work stress.
Since we’ve now enjoyed 3 years of living together and I’ve lost the weight I gained, I think it’s the perfect time to share a few of the lessons we’ve learned along the way.
1) Workout together: As soon as we came back from our honeymoon we jumped on the workout band wagon together and have been there ever since. We evaluated our schedules and realized that there was no good way to workout on a consistent basis after work. Therefore, we took a big gulp and set our alarm for 5:15 that first morning. For 2.5 years we’ve been waking up at least 4 days a week at 5:15 to workout together. While this doesn’t mean we necessarily do the same workout we at least both get out of bed and out the door together which is half the battle. It’s a great way to spend some quality time together each morning, talking about our upcoming workouts or days.
2) Realize you are different people: Just because you move in together doesn’t mean you have to take on the other person’s identity. When we first moved in together, we each had to realize this the hard way. I tried to like the habit of an evening beer or glass of wine while Bo tried to develop a sweet tooth so he could enjoy evening sorbet. Instead, we found that neither of us enjoyed the wasted extra calories. It also took a while to realize that we don’t need the same amount of sleep. I can go on a few hours of sleep once but in the long run I need to average at least seven hours. For this reason, I’m in bed most nights by 10:15. Bo on the other hand can go on six hours day in day out and often stays up an hour after me watching tv, working or reading.
3) Don’t be afraid to keep each other in check: This one, which can sometimes be the most important thing we’ve learned, is also the toughest. Sometimes we need that little conscience to step in and set us straight when we’ve had a few to many days off from working out or one too many days of indulging. It’s important to make sure you don’t seem rude or judgmental as you’re in a loving relationship which is hopefully judge free. Instead, use words like “I feel” or “it seems” or “I wish” when you’re talknig to your spouse about their actions. Sometimes, all it takes is for one of us to see a picture from the weekend we don’t like but sometimes it takes more serious conversations to understand what the root factor is. At the end of the day, it’s most important to be open and honest with your feelings and always motivate the other person.
Hopefully these tips will help you as you embark on a new step in your relationship or work to improve the one you’re in already. Above all, make sure that you both realize that making healthier decisions together often leads to even more happiness. When we’re at our healthiest we’re at our happiest and we’ve enjoyed so many memories together running, biking, sailing, and tasting our way through new cities and places!