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Although I am grateful for the chance to visit my family here in Texas, it is extremely challenging being around habits I have worked so hard to break. Everything I have eaten while here has been my choice, don’t get me wrong, but there have been more opportunities to make poor decisions than good decisions.
You see, while growing up, my days were planned around food. I’d wake up and immediately think about what I was going to have for breakfast. Very quickly I would think about lunch and dinner, creating plans around those two meals. Not that I don’t plan my meals these days but the planning is quite different.
If there was one word to describe my time here it would be overindulgence. I have jumped at the chance to eat my favorite meals, to visit restaurants I’ve never been to, and to eat treats even when I’m not hungry.
Though I strove to make healthy decisions, like making smoothies or fresh juice in the morning, my unhealthy choices have far outweighed the good choices I have made.
Friday night Neal and I had a wonderful dinner at Stephanie’s house. She made us pork tacos with a jalapeno cheese sauce in whole wheat tortillas.
It was a very tasty and awesome dinner, but I should have limited myself to one taco instead of two considering what I’d be eating the next morning.
Saturday morning I headed over to Lulu’s Bakery in San Antonio, home to the 3 pound cinnamon roll.
I absolutely loved having breakfast my best friend Stephanie and my hubby, but it was hard not to walk away from breakfast feeling guilty about what I had eaten.
For breakfast I ordered one of my favorite Texas meals, breakfast tacos. I ordered the potato, egg, and bacon tacos.
I also had a small piece of the cinnamon roll, which was awesome btw.
After a heavy day of eating on Saturday I was very good with my eating on Sunday. I had fresh fruit juice and a banana with peanut butter for breakfast and a homemade low fat tuna salad for lunch. For dinner, my mom made an awesome Copycat Wendy’s Chili and homemade cornbread.
My only regret from dinner Sunday night was eating chips and salsa before dinner. Those weren’t necessary.
This morning I really struggled with what to do. I was already feeling really down about my eating while here in Texas and the mental shift that has occurred, reminding me of all the bad habits which took me to 261 pounds. On the flip side I really wanted to take Neal to The Magnolia Pancake House, which in the end won.
For breakfast I ordered the blueberry pancakes, which were very tasty and very filling.
Neal ordered their bacon pancakes, which were pretty awesome. Not going to lie, bacon in pancakes is genius. Neal loved them!
We ate brunch around 12:30PM, so it was plenty to hold me over until dinner. To celebrate the New Years, my mom made homemade pizza, which we ate at 7PM.
I love pizza but boy did I have a lot of carbs today!
Again, I love my family but I hate how food controls me when I’m back home. I hate how I reach a point where my decisions are made around it and how it can consume me.
I am really ready to return to DC just so I can get back to my routine and my habits. I am terrified to see what I weigh in on Friday, but my weight gain will be due to all of the unhealthy foods I have consumed while here in Texas and inability to use portion control.
Not exactly how I wanted to end 2012, but it good to remember how easily bad habits can return!
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Tagged with: Binge Eating • Eating • Eating Out
Filed under: Binge Eating • Deep Thoughts • Health • Travel
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I just blogged about a similar feeling today. Old habits die hard! Hope things are better and back on track for you soon.
Angela @ Honey, I Shrunk the Mom recently posted..–ish just got real
Temptation at every turn is always difficult. The great news is you will very soon be uber focused and back in the driving seat.
Happy New Year, here’s to a wonderful 2013.
Janice
Janice@fit foot recently posted..Friend Makin’ Mondays – 2013
At least you are completely honest with yourself and take full accountability! That is definitely the first step. Good luck to you and your continued weight loss journey in 2013!
Becky @ Olives n Wine recently posted..Happy NYE!
I think it’s important to reflect on poor decisions made because it helps us to see where we can learn from those mistakes. However, I am also a firm believer in just letting go sometimes and not beating myself up for later.
We’re only human. We can’t be perfect all the time. I think you’ve done well holding yourself accountable though. While life is meant to be lived and enjoyed, we still have to consider our choices and how they affect us.
Oh, I’m stopping by via the FitFluential weight loss group.
Kim @ Who Took My Donut? recently posted..Snack Bags: How to Plan Ahead
Oh how I miss breakfast tacos!! I think sometimes setbacks are what we need to renew our newer habits and why we chose them. The holidays, plus being back where old habits were formed make it especially hard, but you sound like you’re already ready to get back on track!
bad habits I say a good way to end 2012. ring in the new year better! think of it that way!
sara@fitcupcaker recently posted..Happy New Year- A Great Celebration!
Hey – Just wanted to give you a little support! I feel EXACTLY the same way when I go home for the holidays. My family holidays are very food-centered. I go into it trying to “eat better,” then cave after a day or two and start eating sweets/carbs/all of the other delicious food my Mom makes. I very easily overeat at home, because that’s what I always did growing up…I overate and felt compulsive and out of control a lot of the time. And at Thanksgiving I noticed a mental shift, not only due to psychologically thinking I was gaining weight and feeling “fat,” but I think due to the actual nutritional effect of the high carb/sugar food and overeating – I felt down and less energetic – which lifted after a day or two of clean eating at home. So, anyway, I know it feels awful, and I’m also hopeful you will feel so much better soon. (Also, I delay weighing myself for a day or two after returning home, to shed some of that initial “fake” vacation weight before seeing where I’m at). Cheers!
Since we didn’t go anywhere, I have only myself to blame for my over-indulgent holidays. At least I was able to keep up with my exercise. Now, back to our regularly scheduled eating program!
Coco recently posted..Best Of 2012
I think you did great for being at home. It’s hard. From what I see I don’t think it’ll be as bad as you think. You’ll get back in your groove soon enough.
It’s tough when you live far away from home & then come back to visit. Old habits can be hard to break & it sounds like you know you could have done better, but what’s done is done & hopefully you enjoyed yourself. No sense in beating yourself up about it, just put it behind you, start over, strive to do better next time, & keep on trucking. It happens to us all at one time or another. It’s part of what makes us human. No one is perfect.
Karey @ Nutty About Health recently posted..How to Avoid the Fad Diet
It’s so hard to stay on track when you’re around so many temptations! My family has gotten way healthier in the past few years so it’s a little easier, but it’s still hard when so many of my old favorite treats are around!
Liz @ iheartvegetables recently posted..First Eats of the New Year
the holidays only happen once a year. Don’t spend too much time worrying about what you did eat, but focus on what you’ll eat next!!
It’s a new year, clean slate and another opportunity to eat healthy.
That said, that pizza looks freakin awesome!
caren @ voodies recently posted..{WIAW} Game On!
It sounds like despite what you ate, you did not go overboard! You should be proud of that!
Katie @ Livehalffull recently posted..WIAW on the last day of 2012
Those tacos look insanely delicious!!! I know that you’re feeling kind of down about it right now, but I really don’t think you should get down on yourself too hard. A little bit of indulgence is good on vacation… that’s what it’s for! As long as you don’t let it affect your regular life back at home, I don’t think it’s a problem. It seems like you didn’t go too overboard anyway!
Miranda @ Biting Life recently posted..January 2013 Life Update