Although I am grateful for the chance to visit my family here in Texas, it is extremely challenging being around habits I have worked so hard to break. Everything I have eaten while here has been my choice, don’t get me wrong, but there have been more opportunities to make poor decisions than good decisions.
You see, while growing up, my days were planned around food. I’d wake up and immediately think about what I was going to have for breakfast. Very quickly I would think about lunch and dinner, creating plans around those two meals. Not that I don’t plan my meals these days but the planning is quite different.
If there was one word to describe my time here it would be overindulgence. I have jumped at the chance to eat my favorite meals, to visit restaurants I’ve never been to, and to eat treats even when I’m not hungry.
Though I strove to make healthy decisions, like making smoothies or fresh juice in the morning, my unhealthy choices have far outweighed the good choices I have made.
Friday night Neal and I had a wonderful dinner at Stephanie’s house. She made us pork tacos with a jalapeno cheese sauce in whole wheat tortillas.
It was a very tasty and awesome dinner, but I should have limited myself to one taco instead of two considering what I’d be eating the next morning.
Saturday morning I headed over to Lulu’s Bakery in San Antonio, home to the 3 pound cinnamon roll.
I absolutely loved having breakfast my best friend Stephanie and my hubby, but it was hard not to walk away from breakfast feeling guilty about what I had eaten.
For breakfast I ordered one of my favorite Texas meals, breakfast tacos. I ordered the potato, egg, and bacon tacos.
I also had a small piece of the cinnamon roll, which was awesome btw.
After a heavy day of eating on Saturday I was very good with my eating on Sunday. I had fresh fruit juice and a banana with peanut butter for breakfast and a homemade low fat tuna salad for lunch. For dinner, my mom made an awesome Copycat Wendy’s Chili and homemade cornbread.
My only regret from dinner Sunday night was eating chips and salsa before dinner. Those weren’t necessary.
This morning I really struggled with what to do. I was already feeling really down about my eating while here in Texas and the mental shift that has occurred, reminding me of all the bad habits which took me to 261 pounds. On the flip side I really wanted to take Neal to The Magnolia Pancake House, which in the end won.
For breakfast I ordered the blueberry pancakes, which were very tasty and very filling.
Neal ordered their bacon pancakes, which were pretty awesome. Not going to lie, bacon in pancakes is genius. Neal loved them!
We ate brunch around 12:30PM, so it was plenty to hold me over until dinner. To celebrate the New Years, my mom made homemade pizza, which we ate at 7PM.
I love pizza but boy did I have a lot of carbs today!
Again, I love my family but I hate how food controls me when I’m back home. I hate how I reach a point where my decisions are made around it and how it can consume me.
I am really ready to return to DC just so I can get back to my routine and my habits. I am terrified to see what I weigh in on Friday, but my weight gain will be due to all of the unhealthy foods I have consumed while here in Texas and inability to use portion control.
Not exactly how I wanted to end 2012, but it good to remember how easily bad habits can return!