A Hot and Cold Week

This week was all over the place… a hot and cold week if you will.  Even now I struggle to put into words how I’ve felt, how I’m feeling, and how I want to feel.

There were a lot of highlights this week including moving into a new apartment, getting a new computer, catching up with a dear friend, and physically enduring another week of football practice.  On the flip side I didn’t track everything I ate, I had very challenging football practices, and I allowed a few situations to discourage me.

The truth is, I’m really frustrated with my diet.  I’m frustrated that I’ve struggled with my weight my entire life and haven’t figured out how to win the battle.  I love reading success stories like Brandi’s and Megan’s and want what they have achieved so badly… Yet I still enjoy that bowl unnecessary bowl of ice cream after dinner.  I am just so tired of weighing between 220 and 230.  I want to get back down to 207 and to finally be in a place where I can reach 199!

I’ve also had a tough week at football practice.  I am feeling great physically and am loving the workouts but I’m struggling with the amount I need to learn and master in order to play.  I really love the sport and am eager to learn but it’s just a lot of pressure.

So where do I go from here?  You see, the easy thing to do is to give in and to quit.  I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve thought about quitting Weight Watchers and I’ve asked myself if playing football is the best thing for me.  The reality is, I’m scared.  I’m scared of failing and I’m scared of weeks just like this one but I know that I can figure this all out.  I know I can lose weight and I know I can learn how best to play center.

This weekend I’ve got to get back on track and to get my mind right.  I’m very nervous about football practice Saturday morning, especially after the practice I had on Wednesday (Oh, there were tears), but as my coach says, I have to focus on the things I can control.

On the diet front, I’ve got to get a grip on what I’m eating and how much I’m eating.  I’ve got to measure my foods and track my points before I even consider eating the foods!  No more eating before tracking.

This wasn’t my finest week but I’m glad it’s over.  I’m excited to start the weekend and to have some time to rest, relax, and prep for the week ahead.  I’m still on a quest to have Fergie’s body, woop woop… this is just a little hiccup.

Ashley

Comments

  1.  Becky says

    You can do it Ashley! I’m sure with footbal it is all part of a learning curve… I imagine it takes a couple of months to get into the groove. Just think about how your skills are improving and that they’re probably pushing you because of how capable you are! I mean, they couldn’t even tell you were a rookie!

  2. ann says

    I agree, you are a strong person and you can do it. Stick with it and you will achieve your goals. And by the way, I have said it before, I think you look great! Take the weight loss slow and steady.

  3. Kels says

    I hate that feeling of eating something and knowing I didn’t need it and shouldn’t have it, but I do it anyway, and find an (emotional) reason to justify it. You inspire me so much though, through Instagram and this blog! You can do this!

  4. says

    I am the queen of not having perfect weeks! It’s just not real life! All you can do is accept it, try not to beat yourself up about it, get back up and keep trying! I totally feel your frustration, but I think you’ve got a great attitude! And I love the football thing! Way to go, girl!

  5. says

    I totally understand you. It can be insanely overwhelming sometimes. When I get discouraged about how long it’s taking me, I think about all of the things I wouldn’t have learned if I had lost weight a long time ago. I feel so much more in tune with my body now! Rough patches are normal; stick with it! And just know, you’re an inspiration!

  6. says

    My weakness is sweets and I’ve found that stocking a low calorie substitute helps me when I’m craving the bad stuff at night.Pudding snacks are my current go to and just knowing they are there has helped me skip my nightly sweet fix sometimes. Maybe buy some skinny cow treats for when you really want ice cream :) You can do this!!

  7. says

    Man, Ashley, I can’t even begin to tell you how much I relate to you. For the longest time I thought those before and afters were bogus. I just didn’t believe I could actually do it. That’s one of the reasons I started my blog to write about my attempt. I knew it was going to be waaaay more than just a before and after – it was really going to be a journey. And it has been. And funny you mention 207…. That was my “stuck” weight. It was what I weighed when I found out I was pregnant… what I eventually got down to after 2 years… but what I couldn’t get past for the longest time. I started crossfit and have tried to eat mostly paleo and eventually broke through (Just weighed in today at 187!) It is doable! You’ve got this girl.

  8. says

    I completely know where you’re coming from. I feel like I can never get out of the 150s not matter what I do (I’m only 5’1″). I don’t know if it’s just because I’m not disciplined enough with my diet or what. And yeah, reading the success stories of other bloggers can be encouraging, but they can also be discouraging. I just know that I need to just focus on me, and pray that things will just “click” and fall into place someday after all this hard work. It’s bound to happen…I think it just happens more quickly for others. Good to hear you’re not going to quit!

  9. says

    Ashley, your post today really touched me. I have gone through the struggle too (my highest weight was 236), was overweight my whole life and one day I discovered WW and it all fell into place. I lost 100 pounds! But I definitely had good days and bad. Planning is key and calculating points before eating them, just like you said. I’m cheering for you! Just stay the course, don’t cheat, and most importantly don’t trade what you want most for what you want at the moment.

    • says

      I love what you said Shelly! “Don’t trade what you want most for what you want at the moment”. I feel like I need to post that everywhere.

  10. Ali says

    Girl, you can do it! I just want you to know how inspiring you are. Seriously. I read blogs like the fitnessista and other people who are “done” their weightloss journey, but you are the person I relate to most. I’m doing my fair share of hovering in the same 10lb range, and it’s a good 15lbs over where I was at my lowest. But WE CAN DO IT! Seriously, I know we can. I’m gonna make a commitment to comment on every post for the next month, because even though I read your blog every day, this is my first time commenting. Maybe a little more support from the peanut gallery will help a little bit on your journey, and I know checking in on your blog every day will help me! xoxo, Ali

    • says

      Ali- I can not thank you enough for your comment. I really appreciate your support and I do hope that you have a fantastic week ahead! We can definitely do it!!

  11. says

    I feel your pain! I had a similar week. I’m fighting with diet too. It’s slump time…and it’s hard to carry through. You can do it! I’m trying to practice what I preach – take it one day at a time. One meal at a time. Try not to let last week dictate next week. You’re going to be great.

    I’ll be checking back in with you to see if we both get through the tough spot!

  12. says

    I hear you, girl!! Losing weight is SO frustrating, especially when you’ve done it your.entire.life. Exhausting! I’ve learned throughout all my health issues that I have a really hard time just accepting things as they way they are. It’s so easy to wish they were different, beat myself up, etc. I’ve found I’m much more likely to just do what I need to do when I accept that things are the way they are – doesn’t mean they’re going to be permanent, but it is what it is for right now. It’s actually been pretty freeing!

    The best part about a bad week is that it’s over and you never have to do it again! :) Hope you get to relax this weekend!

    • says

      I think you’re right Erin. I definitely find that I lose more weight when I’m living life, accepting where I’m at, and less stressed about losing weight.

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