This week was all over the place… a hot and cold week if you will.  Even now I struggle to put into words how I’ve felt, how I’m feeling, and how I want to feel.

There were a lot of highlights this week including moving into a new apartment, getting a new computer, catching up with a dear friend, and physically enduring another week of football practice.  On the flip side I didn’t track everything I ate, I had very challenging football practices, and I allowed a few situations to discourage me.

The truth is, I’m really frustrated with my diet.  I’m frustrated that I’ve struggled with my weight my entire life and haven’t figured out how to win the battle.  I love reading success stories like Brandi’s and Megan’s and want what they have achieved so badly… Yet I still enjoy that bowl unnecessary bowl of ice cream after dinner.  I am just so tired of weighing between 220 and 230.  I want to get back down to 207 and to finally be in a place where I can reach 199!

I’ve also had a tough week at football practice.  I am feeling great physically and am loving the workouts but I’m struggling with the amount I need to learn and master in order to play.  I really love the sport and am eager to learn but it’s just a lot of pressure.

So where do I go from here?  You see, the easy thing to do is to give in and to quit.  I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve thought about quitting Weight Watchers and I’ve asked myself if playing football is the best thing for me.  The reality is, I’m scared.  I’m scared of failing and I’m scared of weeks just like this one but I know that I can figure this all out.  I know I can lose weight and I know I can learn how best to play center.

This weekend I’ve got to get back on track and to get my mind right.  I’m very nervous about football practice Saturday morning, especially after the practice I had on Wednesday (Oh, there were tears), but as my coach says, I have to focus on the things I can control.

On the diet front, I’ve got to get a grip on what I’m eating and how much I’m eating.  I’ve got to measure my foods and track my points before I even consider eating the foods!  No more eating before tracking.

This wasn’t my finest week but I’m glad it’s over.  I’m excited to start the weekend and to have some time to rest, relax, and prep for the week ahead.  I’m still on a quest to have Fergie’s body, woop woop… this is just a little hiccup.

Ashley

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Filed under: Binge EatingDC Divas FootballMy Weight Loss

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