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This morning I met up with Becky for coffee and a 3 mile walk on the Crescent Trail in Bethesda, MD. Before our walk we swung into Dunkin Donuts for a cup of Joe.
While waiting in line I listened to the people before me place their orders. Coffees made with cream and sugar. Dozens of donuts and donut holes. Bagel sandwiches made with sausage, eggs, and cheese. I stood there and just couldn’t help but feel frustrated and a little jealous.
Minutes later I posted this photo on Instagram with the comment “As I order my black coffee I can’t help but admit my jealousy of the people ordering donuts and coffee filled with cream and sugar. I wish I could just be thin and not have to stress about every little thing I put into my body. Just being honest.”
I was honestly overwhelmed with the response to this photo and my comment. Comments of support and a few comments of disgust. It was actually quite interesting to read the diverse array of comments.
In the end though, my sister’s comment was SPOT ON!!! She’s always so good at clarifying. Alison said, “I was just reading through these comments. It’s not about the actual donut. It’s the fact that you have this constant internal battle about what to put into your body. It would be nice for once to not think about it and to not feel guilty about it or afraid that you will gain weight for treating yourself. It sucks always having to be the person who is constantly thinking about the limitations in their diet and it doesn’t help that this struggle has gone on for many many years. I love you and I’m completely feeling your struggles today. I no joke wrote this in my journal last night “I’ve never known what it’s like to live without this struggle.” I hope you have an amazing day!”
My sister was right. It wasn’t about the donut. It was about the fact that I live every moment thinking about what I’m putting into my body and how it is going to affect me. It can often feel like a prison.
Moving into this week I’ve made a pretty detailed plan for myself, creating a meal plan and a workout plan. I’ve had a shift in focus, which I’ll share with y’all later this week, but I’m excited to tackle another week.
Weekly Plan
| Breakfast | Lunch | Dinner | Snacks | |
| Monday | 1 egg, 2 egg whites, and turkey bacon | Lettuce, tuna, and pita pocket | Greek salad (lettuce, grilled chicken, cucumbers, tomato, and feta) | Greek yogurt and blueberries, banana and almonds |
| Tuesday | 1 egg, 2 egg whites, and turkey bacon | Lettuce, diced chicken, and pita pocket | Turkey taco salad (lettuce, ground turkey, pinto beans, and salsa) | Greek yogurt and blueberries, banana and almonds |
| Wednesday | Oatmeal with blueberries | Lettuce, diced chicken, and pita pocket | Turkey taco salad (lettuce, ground turkey, pinto beans, and salsa) | Greek yogurt, banana and almonds |
| Thursday | 1 egg, 2 egg whites, and turkey bacon | Lettuce, diced chicken, and pita pocket | Greek salad (lettuce, grilled chicken, cucumbers, tomato, and feta) | Greek yogurt and blueberries, banana and almonds |
| Friday | Oatmeal with mixed berries | Lettuce, tuna, and pita pocket | Veggie burger and roasted veggies | Greek yogurt and almonds |
Workout Plan
| Monday | AM- Body Revolution Cardio 1 and Workout 1
PM- DC Divas Football practice |
| Tuesday | AM- Spin Class |
| Wednesday | PM- DC Divas Football practice |
| Thursday | PM- Run and Weight Lifting |
| Friday | AM- Body Revolution Cardio 1 and Workout 2 |
What’s one goal you have for the week ahead?
My goal is to measure everything I eat and to stick to my plans!!
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Tagged with: Dieting • Weekly Plan • Weight Loss
Filed under: Deep Thoughts • Weekly Plan • Weight Loss
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Your sister is so right. And that mini measuring cup is adorable!
Corrie Anne recently posted..Spuntino’s + Being Awesome At My New Year’s Resolution
I totally relate to this- honestly, I’ve been on a diet for over 20 years and lately my goal is to get back to listening to my body and not dieting. Still waiting to feel 100% ok on this!
Katie @ Livehalffull recently posted..Workouts 2/10-2/16 and Meal Plan 2/17-2/23
I can totally relate. Your sister is so spot on.
You felt jealous of those people who could just order donuts. But you love yourself and your progress enough to NOT put that into your mouth.
Self love, self care, and self respect are the mantras when you just want to fall off the plan.
Hugs to you today.
Aimee recently posted..Stress
Hey Girlie! Stay strong and stay focused!
I can relate to your thoughts and feelings in Dunkin. I lost 60lbs 8 years ago, but there was alot of guilt and deprivation involved. I used to constantly battle with food, worry about how many calories I ate, and felt guilty for treating myself. I know it sounds crazy but I felt a huge shift when I stopped focusing on food and started focusing on training instead. Food became fuel, and that made a huge difference. I no longer felt deprived and just chose to eat what would help me achieve my goals. I still follow the 80/20 rule – which allows for treats. And I have meet been happier and healthier. You can do this!!
Krysten recently posted..Happy Heart Project – Your Body
Just an honest question…do you get tired of eating the same lunch everyday?
I do but I don’t. With trying to save money on grocery shopping I tend to limit my options. Work week lunch ideas are often a struggle for me but I have a few things like salads, pita sandwiches, and soups that I tend to rotate. The way I keep from getting bored with lunches like this week’s is by changing up the protein and the salad dressing. It helps a lot.
I wanted to jump in on those comments too until I saw your sister had said everything I wanted to say. It’s exhausting always thinking about what you’re eating and why and is it the right choice and on and on. Doesn’t matter if it’s a donut or anything else.
Maybe my goal for this week should be to make myself a meal plan. I like the idea of not waiting until I’m hungry to figure out what I’ll eat for that meal.
Kate recently posted..Mocha Monday
I actually was having the same thought the other day at California Tortilla – I was eating my salad (which was good, don’t get me wrong), but I got so envious watching this guy eat a plate of nachos and a quesadilla. What I try to remind myself is that I could totally eat like that if I really wanted to…but do I really want to? Because at the end of the day, would those nachos have really made me happier once I’d finished them? It’s so hard, but I do believe that for most people who prioritize their health and their eating, it’s always a bit of a struggle, even if not everyone admits it. And not having those nachos helped me enjoy the brunch I had the next day when we had family over without as much guilt, which was a much better reason occasion to indulge. So, just remember that you aren’t alone in feeling that way – if donuts weren’t delicious, no one would crave them!
I totally feel you and your sister is spot on. Just this weekend I was telling my mom that it makes me upset that I have to think about every bite and every treat, and that some people are just thin and go to restaurants and order anything they want or have dessert and its nothing to them. It’s hard to wish I could eat a giant cookie or a donut…and if I did, the guilt and amount of work I’d have to put in to undo it would drown me. It’s hard and it’s not fair, but it’s just how it is for you and me. I try to be positive, especially with how much healthier I am now, but it’s really hard at those moments of choosing to move away from the cookies
(or donuts in your case)
I often feel the same way. I recently started Jamie’s (studioeats.com) Intuitive Eating challenge and I feel like my eating habits have changed drastically. I eat what I’m craving when I am hungry and don’t beat myself up over it. I stop when I full and I am able to enjoy foods that I use to think were forbidden. It allows me to stop having a continual battle with food being my enemy.
Becky @ Olives n Wine recently posted..Banana Bread Oatmeal
I feel like people just like to knock other people down and blogs/social media is always a good way to do it apparently (I am rolling my eyes at those people right now!)
anyway, that measuring cup is ADORABLE!!
Andrea @ Andrea Out Loud! recently posted..3 Truths… And A Lie
I totally relate to this. I have always struggled with my weight and always will, I will never be a little person. If I were there I’d be getting some low cal egg white something as I checked MyFitnessPal on my phone to make sure I ordered something with the lowest calories possible and very envious of people who walked up and picked out delicious doughnuts. However, I try to remind myself that my body is different than theirs and while I have to work very hard to stay healthy it is worth it to me.
Abby @ BackAtSquareZero recently posted..Diet Bet Final Results
I agree that it does feel like you’re stuck in a prison at times. I felt this exact same way right before I got pregnant. I was just so tired of constantly thinking about weight loss and every bite I ate. It takes a lot of mental energy to stay on track every day in the healthy world! I’m actually very happy to be pregnant right now (I’ve come a long way in this mindset!) because right now I’m not worried about what I’m eating (mainly because I’m still battling morning sickness 5.5 months into this and I have far too many food aversions.) and it’s been the biggest break I needed! I truly want to be able to find the balance between post-baby weight loss and just living a life free of chaining myself to healthy eating/exercise.
Hilary @ The Big Weight recently posted..Putting My Career Transition on Hold
That struggle is exactly why I started reading “Intuitive Eating” after Calee (Life + Running) bugged me to read it for months. I’m not quite ready to embrace it fully, but you might want to read it. It’s changed a lot for me and my view on food.
Emily recently posted..The Meatless March Challenge! (#MeatlessMarch)
I have read it. Wonderful book and definitely a place I want to get to. I have a few things I need to learn first though