What Are My Real Goals?

A few months ago when I walked into Rebecca Scritchfield’s office, the first thing she asked me was what my goals were.  I hesitated, thought about it for a second, and then went on to explain my goal of reaching 180lbs.

I’ve thought about that number a lot over the past few months and go back and forth about it.  Sometimes I feel like that goal is unrealistic and unhealthy for my body structure and other times I think I’m just too scared to see if my body would be happy there. The lowest I’ve weighed as an adult was 207lbs and I was pretty happy there, so the thought of weighing 27 pounds less just seems crazy.


Doctors have told me time and time again that I need to reach a healthy weight range of 155-170lbs for my height (5’9″), but I always felt like that was extreme.  I knew I wanted to weigh under 200, so at some point in my life I somehow settled on 180lbs.

You see society, our society, places such a negative judgement on any weight over 200lbs.  ONEDERLAND is what we strive for, but is it really all that unhealthy to weigh over 200lbs. I’ve thought to myself or is it just society that tells us it is?  200 pounds looks so different on so many people.  We are all different shapes, sizes, heights, and have completely different body compositions but sadly, I feel like society just tells us that in order to be healthy you must weigh less than 200…

PS-  This is what 230lbs looks like on me ;)


Over the past few months I’ve really learned to love by body more.  To love how strong I am and to really get my head around how much my muscle actually weighs.

I still struggle to let go of 180 because I have no idea what that will look and feel like but at the same time know that I don’t feel the most comfortable in my skin at 230lbs.  It’s a tough battle between two numbers.

3 weight loss goals

Last winter I shared these three goals with y’all and have thought about them a lot.  I’m still unsure about goal 3, but I wont really know until I reach goal 1 and goal 2.   More importantly, I’ve been thinking a lot about my non-scale goals and where I want to be long term.  It’s taken me a while to figure these out but here’s a look at my “real goals”…

  1. Stop overeating, binging on food, and sneak eating.
  2. Be as healthy as possible before having children (during and after!).
  3. Be consistent with my weekly workouts.
  4. Fit comfortably into a size that is sold at most stores!  This is more important to be that my body weight.
  5. Get back down to my healthy and happy weight of 207.
  6. Eat balanced meals, focusing on whole foods as the base.
  7. Teach my kids to appreciate food as fuel, sharing the joy that can come from all things, not just food.
  8. Come to peace with not dieting to the extreme, focusing on the 7 goals above instead of a quick (temporary) fix.

I may always weigh over 200 pounds and I’m learning to be ok with that.  Maybe 180 is in my future, but it is not my focus.  My focus is on the goals listed above, my husband (and Theodore), and on our future.

Today I challenge you to think about your real goals… not the goals society has told you to have.


  1. says

    great post! i used to work toward a certain number and when i found out i wasn’t happy with myself once i got there, i just kept undereating and overexercising…and continued to hate my body even though i lost more weight. even at an unhealthy weight i didn’t like my body. now i try not to focus on a number at all (i don’t weigh myself) and instead look at my life and how i live it. do i live my life without restricting or purging? do i treat my body well? i try to ask myself those questions first before i ask myself if my body is “good enough”.

  2. says

    As usual, you’ve given me a lot to ponder. I think my biggest issue is that I’ve *never* felt comfortable in my skin. Who the heck knows what number that will bring? Or if it’s even tied to a number at all? hmmmmm.

  3. says

    You should also have your body fat tested and have circumference measurements taken. We all get fixated on the scale but don’t take into consideration muscle/decreased body fat and the inches we have lost. Keeping track of those numbers, not just your weight, will help keep you motivated if the scale does not move as quickly as you like. Yes, being at a healthy weight is important, but for some, and like you say 155 doesn’t seem realistic, it sometime’s isnt’. Get your other numbers checked and you will see progress that way too!

  4. says

    Another great post about goals and realistic weight loss! You have such a great mindset about what healthy living should be and you are approaching it in exactly the way you should! I love the happiness you exert in your most recent posts – ever since you decided to start eating “more” and listening to your body :)

  5. says

    I love this! I think this is refreshing and realistic. I’ve come to realize that weight is truly just a number. It doesn’t dictate how I feel or how well my clothes fit. That is all under my control and I shouldn’t let a number rule my life!

  6. Tara says

    Great post. And I will tell you, when I got to my lowest weight, I was so excited (looking back, I was a bit obsessed with cardio-biking 12 miles or running 3 miles every day before work). Once there, it was extremely hard to stay there. So I was not happy. I have been up about 5lbs for the past 7 years, and I am happy. I am not so concerned with HAVING to get all my workouts in (I listen to my body instead-if I need a rest day, I take it!)

    So I totally agree that you need to find a weight that you and your body are happy with. I have also seen the scale go up a bit more-when I was at my fittest, with more muscle tone and I was much happier with the way I looked/felt then, than I did at my LOWEST weight. Sort of funny. But it taught me to not use the scale to determine my happiness or size.

    And BTW, you look awesome, look at those muscles!!!

  7. says

    Love your goals! Very inspiring! I understand how you feel, I have my weight issues as well that I’m working on making big changes to. I’ve been working with a personal trainer for 2 months now and he’s actually helped me out sooooo much. I’ve lost 3 inches off my waist! So excited. :) I’m going to take some of your goals and work them in to my daily goals because I think we’re on a similar path. Thanks for sharing!

  8. Summer says

    Medical science has determined under 200 is healthy. Society (fashion magazines, tv, etc) wants everyone to be size zero, healthy or not. I think you’re just afraid that you can’t get to 180, but you can do it with a healthy diet and portion control. There is no quick fix or magic product. You tend to give up too early. Stick with it.

  9. says

    I don’t know why 200 is the number that society has decided. I remember when I was in my early 20′s and gaining my weight, 200 pounds was the cut off. THat was the weight I’d “worry” about it. I told myself I’d never be over 200 pounds. Yeah…didn’t happen. I got up to 255 before losing my weight.

  10. says

    Thanks for writing this post. I’ve been struggling (understatement) lately. I despise counting calories. I had a lengthy discussion with my girl Fit and Free Emily, and she’s right (Just like you and Miz Fit!!). Simple is best. Don’t set unrealistic goals. Make movement fun.

    Just want to say you rock!

  11. says

    Great post! I think you look ah-maz-ing in that pic and would never guess your weight to be 230. The only thing I thought was that you looked badazz working out! There is definitely a stigma attached to various weight ranges. I’ve been above 200 pounds and that range came with a lot of emotions, but now that I’m down to 159, I am surprised to find myself happy and disappointed: happy to reach a scale goal, but disappointed that reaching this number isn’t as magical as I thought it would be because at the end of the day, it’s just a number. I’m in the process of reassessing my goals too and loved this post because it was a reminder that there are waaay more important things in life. Thanks!

  12. says

    You’re so right about society’s view of “over 200 lbs.” But I have to say (and have told you many times) you look pretty incredible right now- super strong and muscular and healthy. I would never tell you what “number” I think you should be- because I KNOW what you mean about “feeling comfortable in your skin.”
    Your goals sound pretty great and realistic. Go Ashley!

  13. says

    I think that these are really great goals and the ones that I have are really similar. I think that you look great Ashley! And you really are doing it the right way. For so long I was never “satisfied” with my weigh, even at my smallest. As was so glad to finally come to a place that I was happy with where I was at, even if I didn’t lose anymore weight. I wanted to be healthy!

  14. Sally says

    BMI stats work for most people but not for extremely muscular people, like yourself. Sat in a TOPS convention this past April, one of the speakers was from a local Y, she explained how weights based on BMI would never work for her. She had more muscle than the average person and would look under nourished at the recommended BMI weight. Personally, I find my BMI number (154) for someone who is 5’6″ is something I have strived to reach for the past two years. It’s an elusive number, my body has plateaued at 163 for almost a year. Having been an athlete all of my life, I wonder if using the BMI suggested weight will ever be achieved. At some point in time, getting to 154 will become less important than just being at a comfortable weight.

  15. says

    You hit this one right on the head! I HATE the we are assigned a number range for our “healthy” weight. If I weighed the 120-130 that THEY say I should, {I’m 5’1″} I would be more unhealthy than I was tipping the scales at 200.


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